Firstly i just wanna wish my dearest lily a HAPPY 20TH Birthday. (it was yst thou) haha
hope u enjoyed yourself. =)

im at work right now and im just not doing anytime much.
so work has been okay after a one week holidays.
somehow im still feeling my holidays.
hur hur.
i cant wait for saturday to just get my pay.
hopefully bonus.
yeah.
haha.

so abt myself.
im not gonna say much.
im okay i guess.
im just missing has.
who is panicking right now.
haha.
that silly boy of mine got into trouble.
its kinda cute to hear guys actually saying
" i really feel like crying now...im so scared.."
me being the guy here..trying to console him.
but i dont know how to.
im so afraid i'll say the wrong thing
and its just gonna ruin the whole thing and he's just gonna be more upset.
hahhaa.
so sorry lah dear.
but im trying to understand okay?


but im sure you'll be fine. You will be.
worst to worst i'll buy you an ez-link card..
top up $50 for you.
khakaha. (k i really hope he doesnt read this.)
likely to.


anyways.
i really need to shop.
i need new clothes.
really badly.
im having dates this month.
hahaa
juggling two boys at one time?
not easy.
haha~!

Good things in life are hard to find.
indeed it is.
Well.. i cant seem to find the words to describe exactly
how im feeling right now..
dissappointed? yeah a lil.
hurtful? maybe. yeah a lil too.
Glad? Kinda. glad its all over.
Happy. Yes im still happy despite everything.

Everyone has their own disguise.
Some may look okay but soon enough.. haiz.
thank god.
one thing for sure..i know god loves me and that he has showed me so much in life.
and the best thing he made me strong enough to go through it like it all meant nothing.
some feelings are just not meant to last for long.
maybe if u lie to yourself and just make into the truth..then probably it would.
but why lie to yourself..?
well..personally i think i deserve more than this.
more than just an "i love you." <<>>
you should know who you are mr.
Dont say it if you dont mean it.
cos it hurts alot.
but im a very strong person..well i choose to believe that i am.
one person is not going to pull me down just like that.
you cant. i wont let you.
watch me.

Life is like a box of chocolates..You dont know what you're in for.
but im kinda liking tasting all these different flavours.
some are nice..
some are bitter.
some just dont look appetising.
but guess what? it taste wonderful and very surprising.


never have i been this confident as a person.
most of the time, i'll fall to my knees.
im not going to this time round.
im just gonna get up and stay firm on the ground.
you dont know how i feel about you.
well its a little secret between me and God.
and if im good enough, he will show me the truth.
amin. =)
imissyoualotlahhh.

soooo.
hello peeps.
im back again.. Once more.
Living la vida loca.
Work has been totally relaxing for me.
i dont know whether to agree its a good thing or not.
but i've disciplined myself to reach earlier after getting warning letters.
hahaa.
which is a good thing!
so for the past one month..lemme see what i've been up to.
hanging out with my dad at home watching concerts he bought for me.
Eagles,Brian adams (?),linkin park, maroon 5.
dun underestimate my dad okay ey?
Hanging out with my wonderful girls and chilling out.
went to Fall Out Boy's concert.. a lil dissapointing.
i guess i had fun being silly on the bike with Giena then the concert actually.
meeting new people every now and then.
which is a good thing.
never thot i would be out on Valentines but yess i am.
i've got a date for it.
hahaha. woo-hoo!
heyy, im more of casual dating than anything else.
for now.
but im doing quite fine.
passed thru that time and now im happy with who i am.
with the people around me.
feel so loved.
hah!
so now im just looking forward to March..
mr money banks..parties..big events..
Lily's,giena's, has's advanced bdae surprise party.
and not forgetting JASON MRAZ concert with lily.
lets just look forward to life.
its the little things in life that makes me feel great.
im glad i have all of you to make it all better.
i love you all lah kkk....
XOXO

EH CAN GO WATCH BENJAMIN BUTTON WITH ME OR NOT! VERY BAD KNOW! *hinthint
berry and lily, miss going out..
lets go..
somewhere!
after march.
i'll be free. no more working,insya'allah. Amin.

haiz


waking up today and yesterday was so different.
for a while i wished i could change today into yst and take back all
the things i've said.
so that i wouldnt lose you
and feel this way.
im at work.
but my mind's really bothered.
a part of me feels like i just wanna cry it all out here. now.
i dun care what people ard me might have think of what could have happened.
cos they always see me as the girl who was always smiling.
and looking at life on the bright side.
now.
tell me.
where is that girl?
you used to say that i should stand up for my rights,to fight for you.
but this time.
there wasnt a third party. maybe.
cos it was between me and you.
what am i suppose to do?
what was i suppose to do?
i thot about us last nyte..
and i just kept thinking
"What did i do?to you? what happened between us?am i a victim here?"
i looked back at the days,
where we were both shy to even look at each other and to just observe from far.
when i first kissed you in the middle of the dancefloor with the song Closer.
you held my hands under the table to make me feel secured.cos there were girls around you.
and we talked on the phone for almost 12 hrs continueously.
and tuck in bed together.
when we held hands during ice-skating and you catch me each time i fall.
u covered me with your jacket in the movies to keep me warm cos i was shivering after falling down on the ice-floor.
u let me meet with ur friends and i met new people.
u sent me home in a cab and
i pretend to sleep cos i thot you would be angry at me.
for smoking more than i should.
and you whispered those three words to me thinking i was asleep.
u took care of me when i was totally drunk..
tuck me in bed cos u knew i couldnt sleep on my own and ended up having Giena's kittens between us.
And i accidentally kicked your crotch when the kittens nibbled on my toes.
and u werent even angry.
u thot i was having a nightmare and just put me back to sleep.
and im just reading back all the chat logs that we had.
take me there.
and i miss you so bad already.
well i'll be crazy not to uh.
im trying so god damn hard not to cry ryte now.
but i can't help it.
you remind me how miserable i am.
people start to talk seeing that i was much happier.
God,even if u have to part us.Let it be in a peaceful manner.
If he's meant for me,make us closer.

Thank you for the wonderful memories.
and I hope you'll get better in time.
All the best.

im sorry,nas. truly am.

WHERE DID THINGS GO WRONG HERE?

p/S: Giena,babe,thanks for everything. For hearing me out and being there.

im looking forward to the big change to your house.I'll help out definately.Oh yeah SORRY FOR USING YOUR BANGLE AS AN ASHTRAY. Classic moment sia. now thats something to laugh about. hur hur. =s